8:45 am. Monday. August 10, 2009.

Lanie: I had this insane dream last night.

Mom: What was it?

Lanie: I can't remember it exactly, but my chest opened up and there were dying vines inside.

Mom: What kind of vines?

Lanie: I dunno... dying ones.

Mom: I don't think I can have this conversation with you.

Lanie: Why?

Mom: Because most people have normal dreams. Falling, teeth, snakes. You. You dream exclusively in intellectual metaphor.

Lanie: Does that mean I'm smart?

Mom: No, just pretentious.