The Things She Says to Important People

9:00am. Sunday. October 4, 2009

Mom: So how was the date?

Lanie: Very good.

Mom: And?

Lanie: And he's smart and sexy, and we talked and it was nice.

Mom: How'd it end?

Lanie: A walk home and a nice kiss.

Mom: You kiss on the first date?

Lanie: Why not?

Mom: I can't believe you kiss on the first date.

Lanie: Mom, is dad in the car with you? I don't want dad to know about my kissing.

Mom: Your father is not in the car.

Lanie: Well, I don't discuss kissing with my brother either.

Mom: Matty isn't here.

Lanie: Who's driving you then?

Mom: Just another Judge.

Lanie: Anyone else in the car?

Mom: Well, a few of us Judges are going to brunch.

Lanie: So, the entire Court of Appeals knows about my love life.

Mom: Yes.

Lanie: Mom-

Mom: We just took a vote. Majority says you shouldn't kiss on the first date. With one dissent saying it's okay as long as the kiss was less than 30 seconds.

Lanie: I'm appealing to a higher court.

Mom: They won't grant you cert.